Doing Family Worship

Written by Scott Head

Some practical advice might be useful for those families who have never practiced family worship or had failures in trying. Fathers who are convinced of the need often immediately ask themselves "how". These are insights from experience, and while I do not profess to be an expert in family worship and devotions, our family has learned much from others and through experience.

This article is aimed toward those fathers who have already come to accept the basis and need for family worship and devotions, but are stumped as to how it looks. Perhaps you are going through a reformation in your thinking and God is drawing you closer to Him. Maybe you have been convicted of your role as a Biblical leader and spiritual teacher of your family but don't know how that looks day to day. If so, I pray that these suggestions will benefit you, and that God would use the ideas and scriptures ahead to bring joyful answers.

Much of what is written here I have learned from others more mature in their faith who have shown from scripture what the role of a father should look like. I've listened to men that I consider to be spiritual mentors - they've encouraged me and my family, and we've been greatly blessed by their opening of the Word in this regard. But, also, much of these suggestions are the fruit of trial and error. Having been convinced from the Word, and encouraged by Godly people, the ball was in my court. I was forced to ask "How do we, in our house, with our particular idiosyncrasies and family way, implement this scriptural truth?" We have tried many approaches and many methods, and I encourage fathers to do the same. We'll look at a few of these.

Prayer I

All family worship and devotions should begin with prayer. In our home, I pray or ask another to pray, and we seek the Holy Spirit's help and counsel in our time together. I believe this is a non-negotiable, for apart from seeking God's work in us, we are wasting our time. We do not want to labor in vain. I would also suggest that any conflicts and strife, anger and offenses be dealt with at this time as well. We all need to be free from harboring sin if we expect to profit from our family time and enjoy one another. Once we have prayed and become settled, we employ one or more of the many options that bring us to the Word.

The Bible

The Word of God is God's revealed will to men. The Word is living and effective, thus it should always be the chief focus of our efforts to learn about God. In a family worship or devotional time, the Bible should be the centerpiece, with every other resource acting in a supporting role. This principle is the governing guide to all other suggestions. If a devotional booklet or workbook does not take the readers to the Word, it may have use but not necessarily in family worship and devotions. Only the Word of God has the power to change lives, and it is by the ministry of the Holy Spirit illuminating the Word that our hearts are changed. Books and writings about the Word or about theological topics are valuable and good, and we should fill our private reading with them, but in the context of family worship and devotions, the goal should be to disciple our families in the Word, to worship and praise God, and to revel in His revealed will.

In our family, we have enjoyed seasons of simple Bible reading. As the father, I will consult with my wife to benefit from her wisdom and then prayerfully select a book of the Bible, or a section of chapters from a book, that seem either particularly helpful for our season of life and the things we are experiencing, or that has been particularly impressed upon us by the Spirit. We'll then set out to read this portion of the Word during family worship. We will read a chapter at a time, or sometimes only a section, depending upon the weight of that section. We will spend as many days or weeks as necessary to work through the section of scripture. During our reading, I ask my children to write in their notebooks words and concepts that they do not understand, and concepts that seem particularly difficult or interesting. We read aloud, each taking turns with a few verses or paragraphs each. Once we have finished reading, I will ask my family for immediate impressions and insights to see if they have understood, or if they have been convicted or had any significant revelation of truth. What a joy to see a child come to understand a truth and connect it to some other portion of scripture, or to our family, church or society! I will usually teach a little about the verses, or choose a particularly important concept out of the verse and discuss it a bit. This is often as simple as describing the principles in the verse clearly, or showing how these principles are to be acted upon by us now that we have heard them.

Father's need to be teachers. In your home you are the prophet - the one who opens the Word of God and declares "thus says the Lord of Hosts", bringing His Word to your house (meaning your children, your wife and yourself). Father's should be careful to be honest and humble. If you do not know what a verse or chapter is teaching, that's perfectly fine, but you should say so. "Children, I don't really know what this is teaching us, I'm learning just as you are, but as your father, I will study this and learn so that we can come back to it and together understand what God's Word is saying to us." A humble and honest father who demonstrates to his children a teachable heart is a far better witness to the work of the Spirit in him than a father who opines from ignorance so as to be seen as a theologian. We must not speak when we do not know.

This of course implies that the father needs to be constantly training himself in the Word and in sitting under sound teaching of the Word. To follow Timothy's example of following Paul's "teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness" (2 Tim 3:10), the spiritual head of the house should himself be spending his private reading and study time wisely, and asking for advice, discipleship and accountability from his pastors, teachers and spiritual mentors. He should be pro-active in his learning, and enjoying the gracious gifts that God has given to his church to "equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ" (Eph 4:11-12)

As we finish our Bible reading in our family worship time, we then write in our family devotions journal what we have learned from this particular reading. We write a brief summary of what the section of scripture is about, its main point, the insights that have been gained by father's commentary, and any pertinent applications to us. I believe these journals will be useful tools for future reference when we study these same scriptures in the future. This is another tool useful in family devotions that can be not only fun, but greatly cherished later in our walk with God as we discover how we have grown in the faith.

Bible reading plans

A Bible reading plan that maps out a course for reading a Bible through in a year, or in chronological order, can be helpful in some instances, but I suggest that these are better used in your private reading time. There can be a tendency to read for the sake of keeping on the schedule or to check off the day's assignment, and the volume of reading is often difficult to accomplish in the context of family worship and devotions. There will be many times when reading will inspire questions and open opportunities for meaningful discussion or prayer. These opportunities for discussion and prayer should be taken.

Reading plans have a great benefit and help to hold us accountable to be in the Word, but in the context of the family with small children, they can become burdens and wooden. If Bible reading is to be implemented (and it should be), it is best to take smaller sections or to take verses themselves as part of a study, catechism or workbook. This keeps the focus on the principles and truth of the Word, not on reading for volume's sake.

Memory verses

Working together on a memory verse can be a useful and even fun activity as a family. We have often used memory verses in our family devotions as part of the time we spend. Occasionally, we have focused on learning what the verse teaches us, making sure our children understand the verse and discussing its implications. Then we will take turns memorizing, each repeating a section of the verse in turns. We add to the verse through the week and hope to accomplish our goal by week's end. We don't abandon other aspects of family worship when we are using memory verses, for prayer should always be part of any family worship or devotion time.

Catechisms

Catechism is a time honored teaching tool that have been used by the church since the earliest times. Essentially a list of questions and answers, catechisms teach the basics of the faith in a form easily memorized. A good catechism always has scripture references for the answers. During catechizing in the context of family devotions, it is a good practice to look up the scripture references and have fathers lead in discovering God's Word. With smaller children, there are specific catechisms designed to teach them profound truths, but expounding scripture for them may not be appropriate in the family devotion time. But, whenever a child is able, it would be a very good exercise to ask the family to go to the Word to discover the basis of the catechism's answers. As always, catechism and any other tool for devotions should be a support to the Word of God, and never an alternative.

We have used various catechisms for our children, mostly the simple "Catechism for Boys and Girls", which helps teach youngsters sound doctrine in easy to remember questions and answers. Catechism can be used all day long, all the time. Asking my children "Why did God make you and all things?" will always gain the response "For His glory!", because we have learned it well, and occasionally ask it of them in our daily comings and goings. Catechism makes and excellent and fun tool for family devotions.

Workbook Studies

I'm usually not a big fan of workbooks in the family devotional time. However, some workbooks can be beneficial if they take the family to the Bible as the primary focus of our hearts. A workbook that teaches on Biblical principles and merely quotes portions of scripture in the book text does not encourage the act of opening God's Word. There is more substance and value in demonstrating to your children the primacy of the Bible in the home when fathers insist on its use during worship and devotions. Besides illustrating in a practical sense the reliance on the Word of God, it trains children (and mothers and fathers!) how to use their Bibles. From building a familiarity with the arrangement of the books in the Bible to demonstrating the proper way to handle translation variants, opening the actual, tangible copy of your own Bible has great benefit.

Currently, my family is using a workbook during much of our family devotion time. We have chosen a workbook that requires us to open our Bibles with every question. Paul Washer's The One True God1 study book leads us through the scriptures to discover the character and attributes of God by having us do the work of discovering what the Word says. We have enjoyed the many discussions and questions that come from this study and the ample opportunities that have arisen for teaching and application. It's been very edifying.

Hymnals, Songbooks and Audio CDs

Singing is an integral part of worship as described in scripture. Having a good hymnal or songbook can be very useful. One church I know selects one great hymn of the faith each month and they sing it every Sunday for the month. This could be a good practice in family worship as well. If you have a musician in the house, family singing can provide a great opportunity for musicians to serve their family.

Some of us have no musicians in our homes, so musical accompaniment is not always an option. Having a musically talented family member should be a goal of all houses, for that is one area in which children can minister greatly to their family. For many of us, audio CDs can fill that need, or families may enjoy singing a cappella. In our home, we have tried singing with musical CDs, and it has been limited in its effectiveness. We have much work to do in this area, because I am convinced that musical worship adds vitality to the family worship time. As we train up musicians in our home, one of our stated goals is to fill our home with praise, singing and worship in musical form. My task as a father, and yours too, is to put off those hindrances that keep us from music because our Lord prescribes music as a proper method of worship.

Family Questions

One further activity that should not be neglected is the family question time. If, during our private study and reading our wife or children have come upon a difficulty, the whole family can benefit from it! We often have times when a question will be brought up about a particular verse in scripture, and I will have an opportunity to explain it (or confess my ignorance and seek to find out). These are very often the times when hearts are most teachable and tender, because the Spirit has prompted a desire to learn more. Fathers must be careful to teach truth, to know what they are saying, lest they mislead their flock. If a father doesn't know the answer, as we have said already, it is his job to humbly say so and then go find out.

Prayer II

No family worship or devotion should go without prayer and intercession. Fathers should ask all of their children and family to communicate areas in which they need prayer. Sometimes young children do not have the maturity or understanding to seek prayer from their family members, and these little precious gifts should be given something to pray about. Little ones should be involved and encouraged to participate as much as possible in prayer, even if they do not know how to pray well or 'like daddy does'. Giving them a share of the family prayer time equips them with something important and builds them up as contributing members of the family. When we were praying for God to bless us with another child, our daughter prayed faithfully every night for God;s blessing for our family. It was her responsibility and her joy. Because of that, we can today look back to that time and encourage her, showing that her prayers were answered.

During prayer times, each person should pray. We find it useful to go around one after another in order, each one having established before hand what we will pray about. We often pray for one another, our church family, special needs, and for missionaries. We have prayed repentantly, confessed sins to God, wept, laughed, and praised His great name in prayer. Prayer should not always be needs and intercession. Simply praying praises to the glorious Lord and offering worship by prayer to Him is immensely valuable.

We spend perhaps a third or half of our family devotions in prayer, and these times are often sweet, convicting, profound and joyful. Our children benefit so very much be hearing the prayers of their father and mother. If for no other reason, little ones should be trained to participate in prayer times to gain a familiarity with coming before the Lord and to hear the heartfelt prayers of their parents and siblings. You will find the prayers of your children maturing and growing more effectual as they learn by hearing. And men, how precious and joyful it is to hear your children in prayer!

Don't Squelch the Spirit

In family worship and devotions, there are surely many other useful tools and practices that are edifying and useful. One final suggestion is to never be too rigid, program driven, schedule-minded or task-oriented that you cannot perceive the Holy Spirit's prompting to address special or immediate needs in the family. Occasionally we have abandoned all plans because the Holy Spirit was moving and working in our midst and we were brought directly to prayer, confession, teaching or searching the Word.